This controversial write-up explains the difference, as he sees it, between thieves who are desperate and thieves who are 'just w*nkers nicking bikes for profit'. The former should be forgiven, the latter killed.

Being a motorcycle enthusiast, he taps into emotions that a lot of us can sympathise with in this humorous (we assume he's joking) piece.

Has anyone ever tried or succeeded in stealing a motorcycle you've owned? Do you think there's a solution to bike theft? Email [email protected].

09/05/17 - With sociology and criminal phscolyigy degrees, plus a broad background in motorcycle and parts, industry trade and resales. One would obviously be qualified to understand the motivations allegedly, driving people to risk so much, attempting these wicked crimes. And I whole hearted agree the very wise James May.

         10/05/17 - You have a degree in Criminal Psychology and yet you do not know how to spell Psychology....lol. Hope it was just a typo.

         11/05/17 - My sense of hewmor, glad you enjoyed it.

09/05/17 - I Agree!.

09/05/17 - I agree. There is no deterrent for these people.

09/05/17 - Bike thieves should be beaten to a bloody pulp

09/05/17 - oh yes. pass me the pick shaft ! !

09/05/17 - They need the same treatment as football hooligans as proposed in this clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04clpd7h0b0

09/05/17 - A steam roller slowly foot to head at 1mph would be a fitting punishment I don't mind driving it

09/05/17 - pinkie,hand ,then throat.

09/05/17 - Hang them from a lamppost and film it as a deterrent.

09/05/17 - In some countries they cut their hands off, poxy tealeaves.

09/05/17 - I had one stolen years ago but found out who had done it being an 18 stone rugby player at the time I had a quiet word with the little scrote unfortunately the little misunderstood little darling spent the next month in hospital eating his food through a straw

09/05/17 - In certain parts they amputate a hand. Half measures never work

09/05/17 - Yeah exactly f*cking kill them they deserve it

09/05/17 - The problem is, there is no deterrent. They learn at a very early age that there is no punishment for being naughty. We had the cane or a spoon on the back of the leg, now, they have nothing except harsh words, if they are really unlucky. Some of the worst criminals get sent on holiday and prisons are more comfy than hotels.

Until we deal with the liberals that protect criminals this will keep happening, until we start dealing out real punishments things like this will only get worse.

There are even videos of these yobs stealing a bike in broad daylight while two police officers looked on, too scared to intervene, or told not to because it will be one less biker on the roads.

          011/05/17 - Agree with most but prisons are definitely not more comfortable than hotels

09/05/17 - We need the likes of JM to publicly stick there head out and start ranting over this.

09/05/17 - I have an unhealthy hatred of thieves full stop.I would give em 3 chances,on the fourth occasion of being found guilty 2 choices a life in a 8x8 cell with good food and healthcare no luxuries but a tv with free view this is a ten year sentence if you do it again it is 2 choices back in the cell for life or the needle of death f...k em theft would almost cease overnight WHY A TV so they can see the freedom they have lost and you never know lessons may be learned by some

09/05/17 - Luckily no bikes stolen but steering lock savaged but must have disturbed as bike was still there. I only parked to buy a new padlock and chain for my cb900f2c (1985 in Edinburgh) Thankfully I've still got that bike Still agree with James as the courts are t soft if it ever gets that far

          09/05/17 - Doesn't matter what you spend on chains and locks, still no defence to a disk cutter. Watch a demo on a 19mm chain that cost a lot. 45secs with a diamond impregnated disc. We can only deter the little shits, and hope they pick someone else or move on. If there under 18 they get a slap on the wrist.

          09/05/17 - Yes chain was a deterrent. Ended up with abus shackle. Pull up with van, styhll saw and bike gone

09/05/17 - Have a one month advertising campaign where they blitz all the TVs, radio stations, newspapers, social media etc stating that from a specific date one month from now if you are caught stealing you will be executed. That way they all know the consequence of their actions and therefore accept the punishment if convicted. Severe measures are needed to eradicate this plague.

          09/05/17 - Actually I have been far to lenient I prefer your way the executed bit is much more to the point and shock factor is spot on

09/05/17 - It's hard to ride a motorcycle if you disable their hand. Or just lob their right thumb off

09/05/17 - A remote detonation device is what we need.

09/05/17 - Need to find the root cause of the issue, as much as I'd like to see these little c*nts hung it isn't going to stop more coming and having a go.

09/05/17 - I found a bike that was obviously stolen. There was a police car pound a street away so I told them... "we don't deal with petty theft" they said. I pushed them and asked for a name and number. So they said they'd send a motorcycle cop around. He showed up and we pushed it to the pound. Kids stealing bikes is just the tip, thesee bikes are stolen for gain. If you see a bike advertised with no V5 or lost V5 report it

09/05/17 - I agree with him they are only waste of oxygen rats

10/05/17 - Yis

10/05/17 - If you stole £££ from your employer you would loose your job and probably get a custodial sentence the theft of bikes that's road bikes and off road bikes is now a multi million pound racket until someone in authority gets their arse in gear to sort out the laws and sentencing in a proper manner nothing will get done until people get together and take their own justice then it will be to late to shut the gate cos the horse has already bolted

10/05/17 - If you catch them in the act , take them down hard . Its a great deterrent .

10/05/17 - Had my triumph 900 motorbike stolen by some 17 year old. Neighbour called the police and they chased him but he went through the woods. Police said they thought they recognised him but couldn't prove it. Got it back but over £2000 damage.

10/05/17 - I had two nicked and both found thank god, what gets me is that some people knew who nicked one of the bikes and kept it secret. Never resort to violence but. A good hiding usually does the trick.

10/05/17 - I was working at a prison a few years ago, had to go through the young offenders yard. The guard said most were in for joyriding. Same faces constantly, they have moved on to bikes now.

11/05/17 - Anyone found out where they all go yet ? Besides the ones gangs bomb about on ?

11/05/17 -Capital punishment so needed this day an age

11/05/17 - I have a member of a bike thief ring lives next door to me, police confirmed it in a conversation I had with them, total scrote bag

11/05/17 - I had my year old WR125x stolen the night I bought my Alfa and has put me in a proper financial problem. That night I cancelled the insurance on the bike and insured my car... so I couldn't even claim